Looking back.

So 7 months later, I'm finally done with school (fingers crossed that my thesis passes through), and I'm going back to work next week. Funny how when I left the SPED field about a year and a half ago, I was thinking that I might not return and instead, switch to somewhere new like a clinical or community setting, or even a mainstream sch setting. But now, here I am again, stepping back into where I left.

Before experiencing practicum, I was pretty sure that I wanted to work in a hospital/clinical setting after I complete my MA. But then, clinical practicum changed my mind and I'm somewhat thankful for the experience. It's not all horrid and bad though. I guess I got caught up with all the negativity and allowed the stress to overtake my thoughts and emotions back then. Upon reflection now, actually it really is a blessing in disguise and I did learn a lot during that period. Funny how one's thoughts and feelings can undergo such drastic changes over time. Maturity or self-development?

As August comes to an end,

'It's important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night.'

 

 

I don't even wanna carry them at all if I can help it.

 

Anyway, 2 more months till the end of practicum. I...just...can't...wait!!! I'm glad things seem to be improving and starting to get somewhat more manageable now that I'm only seeing cases from 1 site instead of 2 (though they've increased my caseload at NUH so it might just boil down to the same amount of work as before). November, please come quick!

Day dreaming is good for the soul...

Being the ultimate slacker, it's important to always have time to do nothing each day (which is almost impossible) or each week at least. I find that it really helps me reflect on things & heals my tired self.

 



For people who are not worth wasting my time & energy on.

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper.

REPORTS

Plus assessments have been eating me up recently. I'm drowning in practicum cases...so thank goodness I'm no longer working! But despite all that, there's always this voice telling me that on top of gaining practical work experience, the most important thing really is helping the kids that I see...and their parents.

I really love this quote:

"God put rainbows in the clouds so that each of us- in the dreariest and most dreaded moments- can see a possibility of hope" - Maya Angelou

Whats up these days

When you have to make do with only pasta for lunch, you try to vary it a little.

Its funny how people tell me I look like I have lost weight recently when in fact, I've put on from all the late night snacking.

And simple nails to start off first week back at school/work.

It's the new year

And I had to start it with a flu. Too much rich food & mingling about huge crowds over the festive season I guess. It's such a funny feeling to be sitting at home doing nothing much while others get all busy and ready for work & school. I miss my kids. And I miss teaching them.

Hols are ♥

Finally had the time to go into cooking & baking once again over this long break! I miss miss baking...last time I baked anything was pineapple tarts about 2 years ago. Neway, I made sesame lavosh crackers, a recipe I got off Annabel Langbein and I like the outcome :)

Before it goes into the oven















Hot & crisp!

And I'm gonna attempt No Bake Cheesecake in this presentation on Friday, which I hope is going to be successful because I'm supposed to bring dessert for a party over the weekend. Anyway I dont think it could go badly wrong because it's a no-bake recipe and that's why I love no-bake recipes (cheesecakes, crumbles, tarts, tiramisu etc)- simply because I dont need to use an oven, which is one of the most difficult things to use correctly (the timing, the temperature etc. which are almost always different from what's stated in the recipe) when baking stuff.

And then, it's time to get my nails ready for my favourite holiday! (should have replaced one of the trees with a santa's hat design..)

70% recharged.

My new favourite band!

I'm finally done with WORK for this semester!! Didn't expect to be this sad @ leaving...especially on the last day I saw the kids. When they presented me with the surprise card, I just lost it; tears couldn't stop flowing & it stunned the little ones who thought I was upset cause they've never seen me cry before, haha. Come to think of it, I've never cried a single time during my 2 years at work but I cried twice during my last 2 days. Sigh..it's finally dawned on me that I won't be seeing them anymore or waking up to that teaching routine every morning at 6.30am. It's been merely 2 years but as I was packing up on Fri, I realised how much I've learnt and how much effort I've put in and how attached I've grown towards most things & ppl at work. I must have grown so rigid that I'm resisting changes like my kids!! Oh wells...I guess I'll eventually get over it. Like I've mentioned a zillion times, life's been sort of a blur and state of confusion over the past few weeks. And now that I've made up with lotsa long-lost sleep over the weekend, I'm feeling as refreshed as me. Time to soak up the festive air once again at this time of the year!

Hanging there

Last week's been crazy. My mind's been a complete blur with 4hrs of sleep a night and endless typing on the comp. Rushed my butt off 2 sch assignments while the first of my besties tied the knot. And though there were the usual hiccups here and there, the wedding was a success! 10 hats off to her & her hubs for planning & organizing their own wedding (which was a pretty grand & formal affair) almost all by themselves (without the silly fuss of gatecrashing and all) and in such a short period of time (something like less than 6mths??). In fact, it's an even smoother wedding than some others that had 2-3x the amount of time & help. Congrats once again a + t.

Neway, one more assignment and 2 more days at work and I'm good to slack for the rest of this year!! Can't wait for Friday to come, though I don't look forward to packing and clearing my stuff at work. 2 years worth of teaching materials, toys etc...I hope I can finish packing up by the end of my last day @ work 'cause I seriously don't wanna make an extra trip down next week.

Crafts

After completing a psych report and a quiz on Mon, followed by another quiz this afternoon, decided to take a break from the books tonight...to catch up on the craft work which I've been putting on hold because of work.

Definitely not one of my best works but I'm too tired to do much DIY crafts so made do with ready-made deco & trinkets from my random craft collection. Hope she likes it.

And some small random stuff for workmates to celebrate the long weekend & Trick-or-Treat cause I won't be joining them for the scare night this year :'(

Starting again..

The sickening feeling of stress & exhaustion has started to overwhelm me once again, and after some stuff that happened this week @ work & other bad news for paperwork load, I am really starting to regret going part-time instead of just sticking to my original decision to leave in Sept. URGH, what's wrong with me!! Well, I really was asking for torture and so it's gonna be a continuous period of reports and reports and nothing but more reports to churn out for both school & work for the next 4 weeks. I'm just gonna run to the top of my blk and scream my lungs out after November the 16th.

For now, it's back to getting lost in my tables and notes once again.

 I really don't mind doing the psychological reports, but doing them after a long day at work and when I'm so darn tired is NOT fun at all. Sigh. Only things that cheer me up recently are ending my counseling practicum last week (thank goodness!) & not having to work the next 2 Fridays 'cause of HRJ & Sped Day!

Culminating into flu!

So the last couple of weeks have been a complete blur where I was focused on nothing but getting through all my school assignments, clearing stuff at work, doing my counseling practicum and attending school. I was initially really looking forward to the end of September because it was when I would officially stop working and could finally concentrate on my studies. However, I don't know how and why (might be because of the difficulties my employers were facing trying to hire someone to replace me or could be my lack of energy to think properly etc.) but I ended up agreeing to stay on till mid November as a part-timer. Not exactly a wise decision upon deeper reflection because from now till mid November, both work work and school work's just gonna increase and stay heavy but I guess I'll really be doing my work partner and my kids a big favor and that's what's most important. And switching to part-time beginning this week has made me feel less stressed and more focused + energized especially during night classes (previously I was just struggling to stay awake after a super long day at work). Anyway, all the weeks of stress and rush and lack of rest had finally boiled over into a bad flu but I'm actually glad that the flu only came when I started on my part-time work and when my previous major school assignment was completed on Monday...and when there is no counseling practicum this week! Thank goodness or the flu would just have resulted in work spilling over to the next week and so on. For now, it's just getting lots of much needed rest, sleep and some fun and relaxed time these few days before I start working on school assignments and work related reports again next week. I just can't wait for 16th Nov!!

Overwhelmed

It's so ironic to come home from helping a counseling client through her family issues and feel like my family doesn't even exist. These few weeks have been extremely stressful and I don't remember feeling this stressed before in my life actually. Well, I had prepped myself when I decided to take on a full-time study load while working full-time but I didn't expect it to be this tiring. Almost every single weekday is the same old exhausting routine- waking up at 6.30am, going to work, knocking off at 3.30pm, rushing down for my counseling session at 4.30pm, grabbing a quick bite at 5.45pm before starting class from 6-9pm, reaching home around 10pm, bathing and clearing some compulsory readings/school assignments till after midnight, before I can finally hit my bed in peace. Well not in peace exactly, since I've been so stressed that sometimes I can't even sleep in peace. But I've been able to sleep pretty well the past week simply because I'm just so damn zonked out! I don't know whether it's due to the stress I've been feeling lately but I really just feel like crying my heart out right now.

Harry P. overload

This HP themed party by bakingdom is simply wicked! Loveeee the cake!

  

And the paperkit for the 3D owl can be downloaded & printed from 3eyedbear. So cool! Haven't indulged in my favourite craft work in agesss. All because school work has been stealing all my time!

Dizzy with words & numerals

Tis' what I've been doing most of the time over the long weekend :'(
 














And despite that, I'm not even able to clear ALL of this week's assigned readings for 1 module! Let alone 3....Thank goodness there's no assigned readings for the other 2 modules this week or...

Now I'm even more certain that there's no way I'll be able to cope adequately with studying + working full-time, and I haven't even factored in my 3 hrs weekly counselling practicum which is starting next week! So yeah, despite my bosses' persuasions, am gonna have to stick to my original plan so that I don't end up zombified beyond recognition by the end of this year.

First week of...

Full-time course load while working = madness. Especially when there's the killer psych testing module which involves conducting 4 rounds of different assessments & writing 4 full psych reports in less than 3 months?!? Though I know this is gonna be a super useful & enriching course and the one which provides the training most applicable for my future work, I'm still really freaked out by the assignments. Anyhow, enough of studies and on to nicer things..

Recent nail art:
Inspired by my band uniform in sec sch













Nautical













City lights













In celebration of national day @ work
 













And recent gastronomical activities @...
Tiong Bahru Bakery (which serves the best croissants I've ever tasted)










 TWG

GWP hotel's high tea













Carpenter & Cook's scrumptious tarts

And I'll like to end off by showing some love for Harry Potter, my comical dad & my bestie who's getting hitched in Nov!

Fire!

The weather's maddening these days. Where is the rain & wind?!?!?! Our school had a fire drill today but while we were supposed to evacuate the building & escape from the "fire", we were ironically entering real fire because the sun & heat was burning everyone up. Seriously, it was hot enough to start a fire & cook my lunch on the ground.

The elegance of the hedgehog.

It's been ages since I've picked up such a good book which makes me laugh & cry and that's what Muriel Barbery's novel does. Despite plenty of rather lofty & pretentious discussion and analysis over art, literature & philosophy (e.g. what makes a table a table, how humans are nothing more than primates, the awareness of time due to the falling of a rose petal etc.) and the exaggerated praise for Japanese culture, which is typical of the French & most of which I don't get anyways, the style of writing is a delightful mixture of lucidity, wit, humour, sarcasm, intelligence, subtlety and poignancy. The ending was so beautifully expressed that I actually teared and I hardly ever cry when reading novels. And I really really love Paloma & her perspectives and the way she grows and matures as a person; she's really one of my all-time favourite characters from a novel!

Now it's time to watch the film adaptation and see how it compares to the book. Next up on my list: Hector and the search for happiness. And I really hope that I'll be able to get my hands on The particular sadness of lemon cake soon!

Nail @rt

First time doing ombre/gradient nails and I almost died. This is by far the most difficult design i've tried. Took hours and re-did it so many times only for it to turn out to be something crappy like this:















And being extremely dissatisfied, youtubed another design with a much better tutorial and clearer instructions. And though it's far from perfect, this one took just one try, lesser time and turned out much nicer!
 














Hols are (sadly) over and it's back to seeing the kids again tomorrow. Hope this term's a smooth one, especially with a new partner and my new study term beginning in another month's time.